Carolyn Hax: Best friend’s pregnancy news comes at a difficult time
My very best friend in the entire world, who has been trying with her wife to get pregnant for a while, called me and told me she's pregnant last week. I'm OVERJOYED for her! But it's also bringing back waves of grief.
My BFF and her wife each got to tell one person about the pregnancy — for support during the first few months and also to ensure they’re not isolated/alone if something happens in the first few months — and I’m her one person. So I can’t pull back from her right now; she needs me and I really want to be there for her. And BFF knows about our decision and knows I’m struggling with it.
Yes, a lot can happen in a pregnancy, and yes, a lot of the things that happen occur more often in the first tri, and yes, it’s agony to go from sharing great news to having to share news of a pregnancy loss. It’s terrible and there’s a real origin to the practice.But over the years I have seen so many contortions done in the name of protecting this news embargo so absolutely !!! that it seems way out of proportion. Tell your innermost circle, thebad.
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