Personal Perspective: My personal stages of grief are a little different from Kubler-Ross's, and I suspect there will be more than five when all's said and done.
depressionknow it had happened. My brain protected me from the harsh reality, nestling in a soft, fuzzy fog of what Kübler-Ross identified as denial. Numbness was nice. It was helpful. If the reality of our loss hit full force right away, I don’t know that we could survive. Our brain rations out the pain over time—a long time. Grief doesn’t stay the same over years, but it stays pretty raw for longer than many people think it should—but they don't know what they’re talking about.
And besides all that, I have life to tend to, and this is the heart of the slog. Right after a death, there are a million details to manage, especially if the death was sudden, as Tom’s was. There are credit cards to cancel and death certificates to mail out and insurance to change. I had to shut down Tom’s picture framing shop and sell his equipment and contact customers to come fetch the art they’d left for framing.
I understand that single people must do these things themselves too, but their lives were designed around one person. Mine was designed around two and I live larger than I did last time I was single, a thousand years ago, as a twenty-something with few needs. And if nothing else, living solo is a huge adjustment. Everywhere I look, chores vie for my. Some days this fills me with despair, some days it makes me cranky, sometimes I berate Tom loudly for leaving me alone with all this.
Canada Latest News, Canada Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Diana Ross' kids, Tracee Ellis Ross, Evan Ross and more celebrate her 80th birthday“Oh how I love you Mom,” actress Tracee Ellis Ross said.
Read more »
Tracee Ellis Ross Posts the Sweetest Tribute for Mom Diana Ross’s 80th BirthdayTracee Ellis Ross | How I Do
Read more »
Personal Perspective: Trauma has gone viral, but at what cost?A Personal Perspective: We use "trauma" for every inconvenience we encounter, as if it's cool. It's not.
Read more »
Personal Perspective: How caring for a former beau taught me what matters most.A Personal Perspective: Bill's early HIV diagnosis loomed large, but as death neared, the love and loyalty between us outshined the painful memories.
Read more »
Personal Perspective: I'm writing because I can't reach you any other way now.A Personal Perspective: A counselor may suggest a sober sibling write a letter to someone who has passed away. You may be surprised at what you get from it.
Read more »
Personal Perspective: It’s a simple process with even simpler steps.If you know the steps, accepting compliments is as easy as 1, 2, 3.
Read more »