For months after her sexual assault at boarding school, Lacy Crawford was left in the dark by her doctors. Instead, she spent her days wondering: “Can’t you all see this girl is ruined? Isn’t anyone catching this?”
The pediatrician did not talk to me about herpes simplex virus, those “herpetic lesions” meant to be treated with Zovirax. Had he done so, I’d have been floored. Herpes was an STD, and STDs were acquired through sex, and I had not had sex. He did not tell me and he did not tell my parents and he did not tell my doctors. Not then and not ever.
After these calls, the administration, as the school would later tell the Concord Police Department, conducted its own “internal investigation.” I was still on campus, since the year had not ended, but their investigation did not include talking to me. I have had to put together these few weeks from documents that remain: medical reports and what has been shared with me of the criminal case file from 1991.
Dr. Kerrow asked me to tell her exactly what had happened. She wrote it all down, and my pediatrician’s office saved this report beyond the usual threshold of a patient’s reaching the age of 27. Every time I read it I remember: Yes, they did tell me, after they had both ejaculated into my mouth, that it was “your turn now.” Yes, they did warn me not to leave before they assaulted me, and said I would get caught if I tried. Yes, Rick did hold me down on top of Taz’s cock. All of that.
Matthews went on. “You don’t want to go digging, Jim,” he told my father. They had not previously been on a first-name basis. “Trust me. She’s not a good girl.”My parents began holding conversations related to St. Paul’s together in my dad’s office, in the den down at the end of the hall. I stayed away.
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