'Teaching lessons of consent is one of the hardest things we’ll have to do as parents.'
consent with our children
Once at a restaurant, an older woman, a stranger, leaned down next to our baby as she was passing on her way out. She began stroking my daughter’s cheek, even though my daughter tried to pull away. I asked the woman to please stop. She smiled and resumed her petting. I asked her again, my husband echoing me now. She blinked several times before huffing away. “Well, I just—” she said, throwing her hands up in the air. The wounded, martyred expression of affection scorned.
It’s tricky, sometimes, to practice what I preach. When my daughter was three, she befriended a pair of twins who met her at storytime at the library. They loved to crowd onto my lap—my daughter nestled in the middle—as they listened to the librarians reading. Afterwards, they chased bubbles together, nudging their fingers up to pop each before it hit the navy blue carpet of the kids’ rec room. One day after the reading, my daughter beamed towards her friends and opened her arms for a hug.
Recently, I was back in the South visiting family. It was a delicious, warm, loving visit with the people I liked best in the world. My daughter raced around the yard with my cousins. She ate a pyramid of chocolate wafers built just for her. The visit affirmed everything I loved about my family, complicated as our past may be.
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