This is the story of a romantic Paris weekend turned disaster
Photo: J.V. Aranda Welcome to It’s Complicated, stories on the sometimes frustrating, sometimes confusing, always engrossing subject of modern relationships. Well, sort of a business trip. Kurt’s a comedian, so the purpose of this trip was being paid to stand on stage in London and take the temperature of British people’s crotches with a laser thermometer. But still.
Besides, it’s going to take a lot more than a little smoke to the ridiculous euphoria I feel about this weekend. New love, Paris — it’s going to be goddamn Before Sunrise.Kurt’s exhausted from a week of shows, so he falls asleep immediately. I’m wide-awake with jet lag, so I spend the whole night listening to Kurt snore. He sounds like he’s boiling water in his mouth. But it’s okay! The next morning, we’re up early and we’re ready for romance.
Five minutes into our ride we come to a roundabout. It’s beautiful and so very Paris. For some reason Kurt keeps driving around the circle over and over, yelling, “It’s Big Ben, kids! Parliament!” every time. On the fourth time around, the GPS falls off, shatters, and gets hit by a car. Now Kurt wants to go for a long drive to the other side of the city. The rain is coming down hard. Our clothes are soaked, my hair is sticking to my face, and I’m so cold it hurts. I’m trying to relax and have fun, but I’m not thrilled that it’s late afternoon and the only thing we’ve managed to do is make a dinner reservation. Plus, I’m on the back of a Vespa being driven by a man who doesn’t know how to drive a Vespa, and I feel like I’m going to die.
We start laughing. We sit on the stone ledge and try to figure out just how small Magazine Lady is. Suddenly, it feels like everything is turning around. We had a momentary lapse. A blip, that’s all. And even if this whole day was a bust, we get to have dinner at the best place in the whole city.
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