‘Maybe She’ll Be Attractive Later,’ Say Citizens
Millions of viewers were not only baffled by the sudden appearance of the unattractive woman but also by the fact that she lingered on screen for what seemed like an eternity with no explanation whatsoever.
WASHINGTON—Expressing profound confusion and distress at what they were witnessing, the U.S. populace was unable to discern why an unattractive woman was suddenly on screen in front of them, sources reported Thursday.Americans across the country said they struggled to comprehend what was happening when, with no warning at all, the woman who was not conventionally attractive appeared on screen and remained there.
“I was just watching TV, and all of a sudden it was like, ‘Wait, what? Who is this? Why is this happening?’” said 34-year-old financial planner Frank Ramos, who was among the millions of Americans who believed there might be something wrong with their televisions when the woman first appeared. “Maybe she’s got some sort of illness and will be pretty once she recovers from it? Oh, I bet she’s a beautiful woman in disguise.
“Oh my god, now she’s talking,” said 52-year-old sales associate Jade Fletcher, who, along with Americans in every state, squinted and leaned in close to the television in confusion. “Am I supposed to be paying attention to what she’s saying? What the hell is going on? The woman she’s talking to isn’t attractive either. Is this a prank? Like a prank show?”A poll of U.S.
According to sources, Americans were relieved when the unattractive woman went off screen for a few seconds, but they were completely dumbstruck when she returned without even bringing a more attractive person with her, prompting many to express even deeper bewilderment when they regained their powers of speech.
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