Avni Shah is a novelist and communications strategist, and a mom of two young boys. The daughter of immigrants, her writing focuses on themes of culture, identity and belonging. Avni has written pieces for USC News, Trojan Family Magazine, Viterbi Magazine, Bangalore Review and others.
Standing in Target with my 3-year-old son, I searched for Minnie Mouse underwear. Check any retailer online or in stores and you’ll see: Minnie Mouse and every other female character you can think of is printed exclusively on underpants labeled “girls.” For boy-specific briefs, you’re stuck with Mickey or Pluto. Good luck if you’d like the whole gang: Boy and girl characters — like boy and girl toys, clothes and shoes — do not occupy the same spatial plane.
Separating people into categories has an adverse effect on children’s worldviews, reinforcing at an early age harmful stereotypes. Kids are set up early on to use limiting frameworks when addressing issues like gender, race and ethnic identity. The more we teach kids that people’s differences should place them in separate buckets, the more they will find these buckets to be appropriate.
My husband and I have told our son that people will not always understand his styling choices, but the popularity of his choices shouldn’t shape his preferences. In the months that followed the underwear incident, he consistently chose “girl” things: a tie-dye pink baseball backpack, My Little Pony figurines, and most recently, sparkly Skechers that light up in pink and purple hearts.
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