Dear Care and Feeding: What’s my real obligation here, if any?
My mom has always been a difficult person, but over time I have learned to avoid her when I can and engage with her as little as possible when I can’t. She seems likewise to want very little to do with me, and has rarely appeared very interested in my tween-age kids.
Recently, though, out of the blue, she sent a series of angry, sarcastic texts to both me and another family member who sees my kids more often than she does. She accused us of “keeping” the kids from her even though this is completely untrue.
In a word, she is confusing. Honestly, my kids don’t love spending time with her, either, and I don’t want to force them to. But she is their grandmother. My question is: What obligation do I have to make my kids available to my mom when she seems to make no effort to have a healthy relationship?Zero. Zero! You have zero obligation. You are not obligated to deliver your children on demand to a person who you believe is making no effort.
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