Dear Care and Feeding: They’re furious at me for finding out.
I have a 9-year-old son, “Ben,” an 8-year-old stepdaughter, “Anna,” and a 3-year-old daughter, “April.” My husband and I got married when the older kids were 3 and 2, and they have no other parents in their lives. While they know that we are a blended family, as far as they’re concerned they’re all siblings and my husband and I are both their parents.
Ben and Anna are in different grades at school. They go to an afterschool program that’s mostly just like an extended recess for 2-3 hours with just a few organized activities. Their closest friends don’t go to the afterschool program, but they both have “afterschool friends”—kids they wouldn’t really want to be friends with if given a choice but whose company they prefer to playing by themselves for three hours after school.
Both Ben and Anna came home in a big huff the other day. Apparently, their afterschool friends hadn’t known they were siblings—and that was the way they liked it—until a few days ago, when I picked them up early for once and everyone saw them leave with me. I picked them up early because we were spending the weekend with my in-laws and we needed to leave town by 5. But this explanation doesn’t cut it with the kids, who are still furious at me. They insist that I have ruined their social lives.
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