“Putting a price tag on a kid is impossible. Trying to make them 'equal,' or measuring your husband’s priorities based on how much money he spends on whom, is a lose-lose approach”
I am eight months pregnant, and my wonderful husband and I have had a loving and supportive relationship for the last six years.
Whenever I have tried to bring up these concerns, my husband has reacted very defensively and even accused me of not liking his daughter. I am confused about how I should feel. How do I process this? Am I wrong to feel like a second priority? Should his first child be priority number one? Should I have known this was going to happen? I’m worried about what might happen if my financial situation were to change.
Your fears are completely understandable, but they’re also based on assumptions that may not be true. Yes, it’s logical to believe that your husband’s previous behavior is the best indicator of what he’ll do in the future, but you can’t read his mind, and vice versa. What exactly are your expectations for him? What are his expectations for you? He can’t deliver what you need if you don’t ask for it directly.
So, you and your husband have some talking to do. And since this topic gets his hackles up, you’ll need to ease in carefully. Avoid statements that might be perceived as blaming and reframe them as a description of your own experience . Make specific statements instead of global ones .
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