Dear How to Do It: I told her she was too much work, and that she needed to tone it down.
I mean, this isn’t really something that gets solved without an actual conversation, right? Something happened. She received a message that she’s clearly taken to heart and that really disrupted the relationship. I don’t think you repair that without discussing it.But the writer should know that the reason you want to keep from saying shitty things to your partner is it might actually change things.
It seems like a pretty standard response from the girlfriend. You hear something really hurtful, and it takes more than one, “I didn’t mean that. I apologize. I was stressed,” to let that heal.Yes. It needs to be shown, over time, that this was a mistake, that this does not actually represent how you feel, for that to kind of untangle.
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