I feel resentful that, once again, her plans with me did not seem to matter. She wasn’t apologetic about the change in plans and didn’t offer any alternatives. Am I being childish or am I justified in feeling hurt?
I love this question because it tells me that even when one gets into one’s 60s, life is still a lot like high school.And we all remember the friend who got a boyfriend/girlfriend and henceforward was hardly heard from again.But when I had a girlfriend in college, I would still remain loyal to my friends.
In such a circumstance, true, my response might be: “Dan? Dan? Hmm, who’s Dan again? Oh, yeah, Dan. He’s just an acquaintance, really. I’m sure he won’t mind if I don’t turn up for lunch.”But it’s not even a question of age. One can have one’s head turned at any point.And we all know love relationships can outlast friendships. I have been married 26 years, a span of time that has outlasted many friendships.I think it’s important to have both.
But I suppose if I’m being maximally honest, I’d say also get more going on in your own life. I’m not sure if anyone remembers the book, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, but it was a dating guide and at least part of their premise was “be happy and busy.” So I forced myself to become more “happy and busy” and eventually, she came around and yearned more for me.
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