My friend got us free theater tickets. When I got home, she texted me, ‘Can you get our next meal or activity?’ Am I obliged to treat her?

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My friend got us free theater tickets. When I got home, she texted me, ‘Can you get our next meal or activity?’ Am I obliged to treat her?
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‘I am not a tit-for-tat person, especially with friends. I often treat friends to a drink.'

Dear Quentin, After not seeing a friend for a few months, she asked if I wanted to go to a show with her that evening, if she could get free tickets from work. I graciously accepted. I expressed my enthusiasm throughout the evening, and I thanked her several times.

The show was great! I told her how serendipitous it was because it ended up being a table read of my all-time favorite movie, “When Harry Met Sally.” My friend had never seen the film. It was a Netflix/Seth Rogen NFLX fundraiser. I am not a tit-for-tat person, especially with friends. I often treat friends to a drink. That said, this request confuses me. Was it in poor taste not to cover dinner? She told me about her new job, and that she is making $30,000 a year more than me.

I want to respond to her with, “I will be happy to invite you to the next event I get free tickets to. I will let you drive, pay for parking and split the dinner bill, even if I get a second course and you don’t. I will then make sure you pay for the next time.”Dear Friend, Your dilemma reminds me of this letter I received a few years ago.

“‘This is the kind of weird swerve of etiquette that can end a friendship, especially a casual one.‘”

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