Even though my kids were born into a privileged family, I always made it a point to remind them that our lifestyle is not the norm.
My little cottage-style house is a solid middle-class house. It’s cute and cozy but honestly pretty outdated. I moved into it from a much larger, freshly remodeled brick colonial, the kind that, as a kid, I would try to peek in the windows when my parents would drive by at night. What kind of life do those people live? I had no idea. I grew up with dirty walls, a toilet that rarely flushed, and a roach infestation.
It is a fact that life is more comfortable when you have money. Everything feels cleaner somehow, because everything is newer. And it’s prettier. The electrical wires are underground instead of an eyesore hanging over the streets. There are no ditches because the sewer system is underground. Even the couches and beds and pillows are more comfortable. Goose down comforters and high thread count sheets. The ceilings are higher. The clothes newer and made of more expensive fabric.
We have family who lives far more modestly than we did, especially on my side. Hard-working people who lacked the support or education or physical health to afford more than the most basic necessities. So for my kids, it didn’t make any difference that their new house with mom was modest. They didn’t bat an eye at the difference between their dad’s new house and mine. They love his larger modern house and they love my cozy old cottage. He has a hot tub and I have a climbing tree.
And so I want to implore parents, but especially well-off parents and especially white parents, to teach their kids about their privilege. Economic privilege for sure, but we need to teach our kids about all kinds of privilege. When it comes to economic privilege, it’s hard to explain to a little kid that they are living in the lap of luxury when they don’t have anything to compare it to.
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