Hear one mom explain how she and her wife went about selecting a sperm donor for their kids, but why he's just that—a donor, not their kids' father.
"We will forever be thankful to him for helping us create our kids, but he isn’t their father—rather, they have two loving moms."
We didn’t know that the donor needed to go through testing. Fertility clinics like to know every detail about someone’s history of diseases, blood type, etc. These are things we didn’t think of when it came to finding a donor, but they’re important details that can’t be overlooked. After all, a lot of things can go wrong if you mix genetics that shouldn’t be mixed together.
For us, appearance was a key factor. We wanted our child to look like both of us, and since only I would be involved genetically, we wanted my wife to be represented by the donor. We used facial matching that was offered on the website to try to find someone who looked like her and help narrow our search. The results weren’t exactly spot on, but it was better than looking through endless pages of donors.
I hope showing them this and being honest helps with the process, but I don’t think that when that moment comes it’lll play a huge role in our children’s lives, since they will grow up having two loving moms.
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