Miss Manners: The hostess didn’t like my request to move the flowers

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Miss Manners: The hostess didn’t like my request to move the flowers
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Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.

At a dinner party, the hostess had set a lovely table with flowers and candles. I complimented her on the setting.

She moved them, but muttered loud enough for everyone to hear that she had set a beautiful table and I was ruining the look. It was very embarrassing, but I thanked her for moving them and didn’t say anything else. If it happens again, you could repeat your compliment of the flowers when asking that they be moved, or perhaps get a firm grip on them as you make the request.Someone asked me to confirm something, but I don’t want to because it’s a personal matter. I don’t want to deny it and lie, but neither do I want to admit it’s true, because it’s too personal.

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