This man immediately shut his mother-in-law down when she tried to weasel her way into a vacation he planned with his wife. Now, he's wondering if he was too harsh.
One woman who doesn’t seem to understand why it’s so important for couples to take trips together decided that she would try to weasel her way into her daughter’s vacation, but her son-in-law immediately shut her down.
“If you look back on the parent-child relationship, we often see that the now adult was often manipulated this way when they were dependent upon their parent. Now that they are married, the spouse is seen as a barrier to that manipulation, and this barrier needs to be overcome for that abusive behavior to continue,” the therapist shared. “Manipulative parents threaten WWIII the way a schoolyard bully threatens a beating if you don’t hand over your lunch money.
The therapist says that, while this is probably not the case in this story, some children with dominating parents do allow their spouses to be used as ‘whipping boys’ to save themselves from the mental anguish of dealing with their parents directly. “This is seldom a smart move,” she noted.“A good rule of thumb is that each spouse handles their own family-of-origin, and runs interference if necessary,” Dr. McMahon suggests.
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