“Ban remote learning. Ban any learning. Ban anything that makes me think too hard. Ban any thought at all.” In newyorkerhumor, Sean Lavery adds some items to the ban lists.
Ban TikTok dancing. Ban TikTok in the state of Montana. Ban dancing in the town of Bozeman. Ban Baryshnikov. Ban Dancer. Ban Prancer. Ban Vixen. Ban Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. Ban the most famous reindeer of all. Ban saying “Merry Christmas.” Ban saying “Happy holidays.” Ban the Queen of Christmas . Ban the King of Christmas .
Ban the President. Ban him just from social media . Ban anyone voting for the other guy. Ban voting. Ban my enemy. Ban my enemy’s enemy. Ban my friend. Ban thy neighbor. Ban Disney World. Ban anyone doing anything I don’t like. Ban me for doing anything you don’t like. Ban being offended. Ban not being offended. Ban the best defense .
Ban ridiculous questions. Ban asking just a quick question. Ban dumb questions. Ban the little questions I ask myself if they introduce self-doubt. Ban doubt. Ban not being sure. Ban considering the options. Ban trading options. Ban the stock market. Ban the taxes I pay. Ban the taxes you don’t pay. Ban having too much money, but exempt me from this ban.
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