May we suggest Lupercalia?
Valentine’s Day is a grifter holiday. I don’t mean that it’s a day celebrated by grifters, but that the holiday itself is a grift, promising intangibles like romance and devotion in exchange for cold, hard cash. Everyone knows that you can’t buy love, but most Valentine’s Day marketing campaigns seem to suggest that maybe you could, if only you were willing to shell out for an expensive necklace. It’s a scam perpetrated by Big Jewellery , and I, for one, am over it.
But the spirit of the holiday doesn’t really line up with the late-stage capitalism version of how it’s practiced.
The Lupercal rites were performed by the festival’s own priesthood, who were called the Luperci, which translates to “brother of the wolf” and sounds like it should be the name of the Hogwarts house where all the cool kids are sorted. At an altar in the cave, the priests would sacrifice a goat and anoint each other with its blood . Then the Luperci would cut strips of goatskin, strip naked and run counterclockwise around the base of the hill where the cave was located.
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