Couples talk about how they are making things work through and after transition
Lasoff-Santos was a gay woman. Her girlfriend was a bisexual woman — or so they thought. Now her partner has become her husband, and they both identify as queer. And things are better than ever.
“Even though he was the one transitioning, I felt like I was going through my own transition,” Lasoff-Santos says. “It was definitely hard to not, I guess, come across as kind of selfish, because I was going through all these emotions, and he was going through his own journey.” Avril Clark operates Distinction Support, an online network that helps supportive partners of trans and nonbinary people. Her spouse, a soccer referee at the time, came out as transgender in 2018, changed her name to Lucy and brought the couple much attention. Before then, Avril says, they had kept their arrangement private and “lived a double life” for 15 years.
“I’ve got this group with all these people on it, all fighting, some of them fighting to make their relationship work,” she says. For people already in a same-sex relationship, a partner’s gender transition can bring angst but also self-discovery.
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