'I now say to myself, 'I'm trying my hardest in this moment to give my daughter what she needs.''
, and sexuality. I worked a fair amount with parents who experienced their own childhood traumas and were now trying to navigate a very triggering world with their own little ones.
. She was very small and was itching to gain weight quickly. My days were filled with cluster feedings, cleaning up puke, and lots of crying. I felt pressure to make her feel as comfortable as possible and blamed myself for crying spells that I couldn't alleviate. I used to get wrapped up in what I perceived to be mistakes or failures.
I decided to change that. I spent some time self-reflecting, speaking with other new parents, and trying to take some of my own therapeutic advice that I had been suggesting to my clients all along — reframing. Reframing is all about shifting your perspective, making or beliefs healthier and more useful, being kinder to yourself, and allowing yourself the space to learn, be more flexible in your thinking, and grow.and that it's important for me to teach my daughter that blunders can be happy accidents that open up doors that wouldn't have been there if we didn't pause and look for new ways to work through something.
Because perfectionism is a trigger point for me, the most important thing I aim to keep in mind is that. I'd rather be a real parent than aim for this unattainable perfection that only causes me feelings of guilt and disappointment. Knowing your own trigger points, delving into their significance, and coming up with your own reframes is a great practice to use when parenting.
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