Chapter 11 of LenaDunham's VerifiedStrangeronVogue is here!
To understand how we arrived here, what made this moment possible — this moment being Ally, one hand cradling her head and the other wrapped around Timmy’s tie, wondering how to tell Caz that she ignored, utterly and completely, every warning and request that she not do what she always did.
But after the breakup with Matthew, she needed these moments. They were what had allowed her to survive. The hope didn’t come from her friends, who were floundering just as badly as she was, sometimes more so . And it didn’t come from her mother, who was fond of the axiom “you’re born alone, you die alone.” No, it came only from the promise of more. New. Again. Better this time.Matthew broke up with Ally.
Caz was curled under her polka-dot duvet in hour thirteen of her depression sleep. Ally knew that, ever since Meg, if Caz could be asleep for everything but Timmy’s texts, she would be. “I’m not dumb," Caz said. "I’ve felt it since day one. And honestly, Ally, I don’t have the energy to fight. Like, I could tell you that I’ve been here for you for two years of crying. I could name all the men who have been in and out of our kitchen. I could ask whether any of it mattered, or why you bothered to say you were taking a break from dating like some sad, wounded fawn. Did you want to catch me off guard? Did you want me to feel like a fucking loser? Congrats, babe.
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