.colbertlateshow's cold open on Tuesday night took on the story of lying New York Republican Rep. George Santos by putting his many deceptions into song, cued to MeredithBrooks' 1997 breakthrough hit, “B–ch.”
It would all be pretty funny if it wasn’t potentially illegal and it didn’t put a pathological phony near the levers of government, so naturally‘s cold open on Tuesday night took on the story by putting Santos’ many deceptions into song, cued to Meredith Brooks’ 1997 breakthrough hit, “B–ch.”
The “A Definitely True Message from George Santos” bit opened with news reports about Santos’ multiple misrepresentations of his mother’s death before a fake George said he had only one to say. Then, to the strains of Brooks’ urgenthit, he proclaimed, “I’m half black/ I’m a Jew/ I graduated from Baruch/ My grandpa fled a war/ But wait there’s even more/ I invented root beer floats/ I’m the guy from Quaker Oats/ And that’s not even all the stuff I am.
The parody went on, with fake Santos proclaiming that he’s also Chinese, from Belize and in a pair of claims outrageous even for him, that his hair is made of bees and that he’s actually Adele in disguise. Some of the fabrications sounded almost plausible, like that he ran the New York Marathon and was instrumental in demoting Pluto from planet-dom. And he swore the latter on both of his mother’s graves, so they must be true.
Santos had a pretty terrible, horrible, no good, very bad first day in Congress on Tuesday, with cameras catching him sitting by himself as other representatives seemingly shunned him and he walked briskly away from reporters, while a writer revealed that when Santos stood up to vote for still-unseated Speaker Kevin McCarthy, a “Hispanic Democrat yelled “mentiroso!” which means “liar” in Spanish.
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