In difficult times, it's OK to say 'no,' to draw healthy boundaries, and to let go of toxic relationships
, never understood what she had done to make her sister treat her with such contempt and vitriol.
Over the years, Ali continued reaching out, pushing herself to be her “best self,” a person she respected. She continued taking the high road. She believed too, that she should get to a place where her sister didn’t bother her anymore, where she felt only compassion for her. But each time she reached out, she got burned. Each interaction with her sister left her feeling icky, hurt, angry, and disrespected.
While it wasn’t the choice she wanted to make, she decided, then, to stop interacting with her sister. It was the only choice that felt respectful and kind towards herself. Her sister’s behavior made her angry, sad, and confused, and probably always would. She might never understand why she was so filled with rage towards her, and she accepted that. But she also knew that she could no longer subject herself to the abuse. Being the “better” person now meant taking care of herself.
In Ali's case, she believed that she should stay in the relationship with her sister, “for the sake” of her kids. It was about her kids and not her. She should be willing to feel terrible so that the kids could have their imaginary relationship with their cousins. It was family, after all.
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