Here is the deepest secret everybody is keeping: Relationships are boring
Photo: Image Source/Getty Images I was sitting on the toilet when I decided I wanted my boyfriend to be my boyfriend. I was toilet-Tindering to avoid even one second of being left alone with my thoughts, and as soon as I opened the app, his profile popped up. We’d been hooking up “secretly” for a couple months; none of our friends has admitted to knowing this before we told them, but I’m sure they did. Drunken hookups are a lot of things and discreet is not usually one of them.
Instead, I wanted to know why he hadn’t asked me. If you’re so into this idea of not seeing other people, why didn’t you propose this? His answer: “I thought you didn’t want to be exclusive.” I went on a weird, medium-length rant about where the hell did he get that idea since we’d never talked about it when he cut me off to explain that the very first time we ever made out I stopped approximately 20 seconds into kissing and said, “Just so you know, I don’t want anything serious.
Specifically, I wanted to date this guy. He was funny. And genuine. And brilliant. I never had to remind him not to be callous toward people. He had his own apartment and did his dishes right away, and he kept his bed in the center of the room in a bed frame. Plus, the sex was great. It’s very easy to agree to monogamy when you’re getting the best sex of your life.
I started imagining things I had never had interest in before. House plants, which I had denounced as “useless” and “not a pet” suddenly became irresistible. I repainted a nightstand to go with the décor in our bedroom . Even marriage and weddings started to hold an appeal I’d never seen before. Don’t get me wrong, it was never difficult to imagine spending $30,000 on a day all about me, but imagining him up there with me, celebrating the two of us seemed not just “fine,” but necessary.
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