Impatience, inattention, and fidgeting are not crimes. With these “deficits” come a lively mind and a life of fun and excitement. You have a lot to offer your spouse and children using your own personal style.
With these “deficits” come a lively mind and a life of fun and excitement. You have a lot to offer your spouse and children using your own personal style. If you can articulate — to yourself and others — how your ADHD is a gift, it won’t rob you of your vitality and life. To build a strong relationship, advocate for your gifts.
“It’s true I was having trouble listening, but I was keying in to your emotions.” “You’re right: I can’t sit still with the kids, but I can be lots of fun.” “I can’t be as patient as I would like, but I keep our social life hopping.” If you compromise yourself, chances are, your relationship will fail. This doesn’t mean that your partner should always be ready to meet your needs. It means that you shouldn’t consistently defer to the other person.Don’t fight with your partner over competing interests. Focus your attention, instead, on interests that you share. Here’s how:
Although those with ADHD can’t stand it when others repeat themselves, you may unwittingly be causing them to do so. If you’re impatient and tend to interrupt, your partner may feel he’s not being heard. So he repeats himself, which causes you to tune out even more. Remember: When others feel they have been heard, they will stop repeating themselves. For people in long-term relationships, good listening can break a dysfunctional pattern that has gone on for years — perhaps for decades.
If you’re like most adults with ADHD, your partner will be shocked and pleased that you have listened to him for a full five minutes.The main symptoms of ADHD-impulsiveness and the need for constant stimulation and excitement-can enhance or threaten relationships. Because adults with ADHD are impatient and easily bored, adventurous sexual activities are highly stimulating to them. Attraction to the new and different can cause you to find it difficult to stay monogamous.
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