In ‘Open’, author RachelKrantz shares the complicated truth of her first open relationship.
In 2015, writer Rachel Krantz was a 27-year-old serial monogamist just emerging from a relationship when she met a man she calls Adam on OK Cupid. Eleven years her senior, Adam had Jake Gyllenhaalian bone structure and intellect to match, as an academic studying the psychology of romantic and sexual desire. It’s a topic that would loom large from their second date, in Adam’s book-lined Brooklyn apartment, when he told Rachel that he was seeking a partner to share his life with.
I was noticing more people talking about it, but it still seemed incredibly taboo, even in very liberal spaces. I wentaround the same time, and there were a lot of parallels in the way that people would talk to me. They would get very defensive and have an extreme, often emotional reaction because it’s so threatening to societal norms.
Adam was the dominant one in your relationship and you were more submissive, and you write about the allure of submission in a very nuanced way. What was the draw for you? It was probably the second sex party we went to that I started having experiences with women – making out or above-waist experiences – and I just enjoyed it so much. I hadn’t had more than one or two other ones, in my early 20s. But I also felt like,. I wanted it to be someone I cared about. And then I met Miranda about a year into my relationship with Adam.
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