How can we ask boys to be a certain way as men when we discourage them from fostering those traits when they're young?
We all want a man who will cook and clean, but we tell our sons that kitchen playsets are for girls. We’re impressed by a guy who can tear up a dance floor, but won’t take our boys to dance class. We swoon over a man who shows sensitivity, is moved to tears on his wedding day or at the birth of his children, but boys aren’t supposed to cry. We prize involved, hands-on fathers, but won’t allow our sons to play with baby dolls.
After all, how can we ask them to be a certain way as men when we discourage them from fostering those traits when they’re young? If we spend time grooming our boys to become anything, it’s breadwinners — and how is that any different than grooming girls to be housewives, a notion that seems downright antiquated in this day and age? We emphasize leadership and business savvy, which is fine, if it isn’t to the exclusion of everything else they should be learning. But so often, we forget that in addition to employees and bosses, they’ll also be husbands and fathers.
This is in no way giving men an “out” for being chauvinistic or lazy or abusive, because grown-ass adults are more than capable of rising above deeply-ingrained beliefs; just like people escape from cults and survive tragedy, guys can make a conscious choice to
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