'I am caught between my love of being a woman and my fury that this womanhood makes others believe they can abuse me.'
“Ah, that means I need to buy you more drinks,” he said. He ordered two more drinks for my female co-worker and I — even though we hadn’t finished the ones we’d bought ourselves and already told him that we didn’t want more.
was published in 2018. In the article, I was frank about having had casual sex, and a commenter wrote that if I was ever sexually harassed in the workplace, I would have “had it coming.” In saying this, he implied that my willingness to give consent to some implied a willingness to consent toMy colleague grinned silently at me, his chin resting on his hand. He was leaning across the table, his stomach spilling out from under his shirt.
It wasn’t until he left that I brought up the incident, to which his manager said, “I am personally offended. He’s my friend.” She didn’t deny the facts, but explained, “He’s a Frenchman: What do you expect? It was harmless.” “I’m tired of being leered at,” I told my mother on the phone. I described how even though I make a point of using professional language, speaking as though I were crafting an email, some men still condescended to me as though I were a doll or a precocious toddler. I said, “Do they think I’m too stupid to see through the way they’re treating me?”
And now I am standing on the precipice of filing a sexual harassment report — the one process intended to empower me in situations like this. And yet in many ways, I feel more disempowered than I did before. Just a few months before this, a middle-aged, married man I worked with got drunk at a work function and pulled me against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and ran his hand down my waist before I could pull away.“But it wasn’t paternal,” I told a guy I used to date. “He didn’t touch my waist in a dad way. I don’t think any dads touch their daughters like that.”would rub my waist,” I said. “There’s a difference. There’s a whole different vibe.
When I was getting my master’s, I had a conversation with a man who felt that “all this talk” of sexual harassment, rape, #MeToo and #Time’sUp was blown out of proportion.“Then why do women bring it up so often? It can’t possibly be this common.” We have found ourselves in a system where victims are often more afraid of the repercussions of reporting than the harassers are afraid of being found guilty. The system is therefore more of an ineffective Band-Aid than a solution.
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