“It’s just a major red flag to be receiving that text before you’ve even met the guy”
Photo: Janis Engel/EyeEm/Getty Images Last fall, I picked up a guy in the park while walking a friend’s dog for a story about how dogs are the ultimate wingmen. None of the other dogs I’d walked for the story pulled through — but Mookie, a dashing Australian Shepherd, caught me the attention of a guy I’ll call Paul, a cute yoga instructor with a man bun and a good smile. We exchanged phone numbers and made plans to meet.
The air immediately went out of my sails. It wasn’t like I’d imagined running away into the sunset with Paul, but this guy was basically rejecting me before he even got to know me. He was laying down an excuse as to why he was going to bail on me emotionally in a few months. But there’s something more sinister than that happening when someone sends a “I just don’t know what I’m looking for” text before even having a first date. It allows you to keep a foot in each scenario. It isn’t defining your expectations — it’s relinquishing your responsibility over my feelings. If things work out, then that’s great.
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