'Ramadan is all about room for improvement.'
Ramadan is always around the corner, I like to say. With one month out of every twelve spent fasting, if it’s not happening, it will be here sooner than I think. Ideally, the month is a time for spiritual growth and re-focusing of priorities. But, practically, my productivity dips, I sleep through the day, and I eat until I get heartburn when I break fast; I’m not a perfect Muslim by any means.
The thing is, Ramadan hasn’t been normal for me for years. My mother, the undisputed leader of the house, passed away in 2009. Ammi was a tornado in a shalwar kameez and white doctor’s coat. During the month, she worked full time, took us to the mosque daily, and hosted fabulous dinners with lavish spreads of kormas and kababs for a long table of aunts and uncles and cousins from around the world.
I could hear my dad moving around rapidly downstairs, fumbling around in the freezer looking for food to make up for my error. I ran into the kitchen, chopped up some tomatoes, salted them, and mixed with cucumbers, toasted pita, and scallions in an impromptu panzanella-kachumber mashup that has become a staple during quarantine.
I confessed my blunder on the Whatsapp thread me and all my cousins dedicated to the meals we cooked each day: a vegan mushroom Biryani in Ohio, a brilliant crimson aloo gosht in Boston, and leftovers turned into cheesy pasta in Texas. On Zoom calls we exchanged recipes and gossiped while we cooked. Miles and miles away from the usual support and caretaking of our parents, this was our first chance to define Ramadan for ourselves.
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