I Spent 30 Years Trying To Be A Good Mom. I Never Thought About What Comes Next.

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I Spent 30 Years Trying To Be A Good Mom. I Never Thought About What Comes Next.
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'What, exactly, was the game plan, with a house suddenly bereft of progeny?'

Aug 10, 2022, 09:18 AM EDT

I was right: The house was quieter. Sweatshirts and paperbacks and hand cream stayed where they were put. The brie cheese didn’t vaporize on its own. Of course, just because the kids had all left home didn’t mean I was through being a mother. They still needed me; they still talked to me; they still came home frequently. Still, they weren’t living underfoot. They had their own relationships, their own lives and their own sectional sofas.

I read the books with only slightly less intensity than three decades years earlier when I’d read frantically about how to get your infant to sleep. The books counseled letting go of expectations and grabbing hold of your new passions. To be fair, maybe I didn’t give the books a fair chance to cure my syndrome: One of them, which turned out to be a tad more religious than I had anticipated, insisted that the roots of the problem were “Satan’s lies” informing my self-worth. Another book instructed on how I could be the “grooviest grandparent” in town, about which I might have been more enthusiastic had there been any grandchildren visible on the horizon.

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