This was written in 2013. It's just as relevant today.
We couldn’t giggle about the same kinds of boys since our tastes fell along racial lines, couldn’t trade makeup or hair products, or move through each other’s social circles with ease any longer, because increasingly these things were defined by race.
A black friend of mine was among the women participating in the Facebook conversation about interracial friendships. I was giddy to have her there because I felt like she was giving us the gift of her perspective, time and insight. Unfortunately, feeling excluded and ignored by others’ defensiveness, she eventually unfollowed our conversation. Opportunity. Lost.
The reason I have agency to talk about racism is not that I have being an ally figured out. I’m not better than my white peers who grapple with the idea of being privileged. I have agency to talk about racism because I want to do better, be better and surround myself with people heading in that same direction.
It’s super fantastic that you are aware of racism, work with groups affected by it, fight to change it, have a black parent/sister/brother/friend/daughter, and live in neighbourhoods predominantly populated by people of colour. Those things don’t wipe out our biases ― they make us responsible to be more vigilant.
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