'For me, and for countless other families who struggle with fertility, surrogacy isn’t a luxury or shortcut: it’s the light at the end of a very long and lonely tunnel.' reshmasaujani on how years of infertility challenged her resilience in a new way.
My traditional Indian mother, fiercely private and surprisingly sneaky, had another idea. She thought it might be better if we made up a story that the baby was adopted. “People aren’t going to understand this,” she said.
I remember fantasizing about being pregnant while running for office. I imagined how I would march my big fat, swollen feet all over the five boroughs knocking on doors. I would be a symbol of feminine power on the campaign trail: a knocked-up Rosie the Riveter. My baby would be a born public servant, just like me.
Six months later I miscarried again, hours before I was slated to give a huge pitch for my nonprofit to the “who’s who” of New York City. My job was to be dazzling. I felt so much rage knowing it was easier to betray myself and go through the motions than to admit why I couldn’t.Since then, my morbid joke is that all of the major achievements in my career have been punctuated by miscarriages. Land a TED Talk? Lose another baby.
Almost five years ago we were blessed to have our first son, Shaan. He was everything we had been dreaming of. At the same time, as we struggled just as hard to have a second child, it became even more difficult to talk about. Now we were just being spoiled, right? Why didn’t we just quit while we were ahead? But I knew our family wasn’t complete, and so we continued to fight.
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