Dear How to Do It: I’ve seen a dozen doctors, but no one knows why it’s happening.
For most of my adult life, my sex drive has had predictable, drastic fluctuations over the course of each menstrual cycle. I spend about a third of the month in a state of near constant arousal, followed by general ambivalence, and then another third of the month absolutely disgusted by the thought of sex. It’s been hard on my relationships. I often end up feeling unsatisfied when I’m in the aroused part of the month and my partner can’t keep up.
It’s possible that none of my suggestions affect your feelings or your level of enthusiasm for complete receptiveness. If that’s the case, your desires and comfort zone are OK. Your understanding that everyone’s enjoyment is important applies to yourself as well, and I get the sense you know that. Though you may not currently be involved with any, there are women out there who’d be happy to stay within the range of interactions you actively enjoy.
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