I, for One, Will Not Be Calling Timothée Chalamet by His New Name, Gatsby Welles

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I, for One, Will Not Be Calling Timothée Chalamet by His New Name, Gatsby Welles
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Timothée Chalamet has been cursed with a new name

Timothée Chalamet doesn’t deserve the name Gatsby Welles, and neither do I. Photo: Amazon Studios “Call me by your name, and I will call you by mine,” 31-year-old Armie Hammer whispered to 22-year-old Timothée Chalamet two years ago in Call Me by Your Name.

When the meteor hits, as it certainly will in the near future, 2019 will go down in history as the year a rupture tore through our universe. The loop connecting Euphoria stan Leonardo DiCaprio to Chalamet — a comparison that literally every living, breathing blogger and stan and person-on-Tumblr has made — has closed. It has closed, importantly, for a reason other than the fact that they are both human males, actors, and dating women in their 20s.

Here is what I know about Gatsby Welles, according to people who have seen A Rainy Day in New York: “Gatsby, apparently borne back ceaselessly into a past where 23-year-olds wear tweed and use a pop-culture lexicon composed entirely of Cole Porter aphorisms, is a brilliant, wealthy, but directionless Manhattanite attending leafy, fictional Yardley College,” reports Variety.

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