'It was very hard being on the other side of this process and learning how to be a patient. My surgeon was a friend, a mentor. We had to stop being friends as it is very hard to operate on someone you know.' | ✍ Liz O'Riordan
I tried to tell her where to put the scar, what sutures to use and she had to tell me to stop and let her do her job. I was still trying to stay in control. The operating team were all women I had worked with in that hospital and it was emotional for all of us.
When my cancer came back and I had to have the implant removed it was incredibly hard to look at my scar in the mirror. I never looked below the neck. It took three months before I felt comfortable getting undressed in front of my husband. Everyone asked me what they could do to help, and I had no idea. I’d never had cancer before. I found though, the best thing people could do was to stay in touch, with no expectation of a reply.Often, I wouldn’t have the energy during chemo. My uncle who lives far away sent me a card every Friday just telling me about the birds in his garden. Friends texted me to say hi, just letting me know they were thinking about me.
I learnt I had to look after myself too. I took a 30 minute walk every day, even during chemotherapy and I bought the Royal Marsden Cancer Cookbook, which had amazing ideas about what to eat when my sense of taste had all but gone. I was terrified about going back to work – could I do it? Ethically, should I do it? But I also knew that I would be able to help my patients in so many ways with my inside knowledge. The challenge was how to do that without telling them I had been in their shoes.
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