Red's agony aunt Philippa Perry helps a reader who can't get along with her sister
A reader can’t get on with her sister. It may be time to break out of the sibling roles you have both unwittingly adopted, says psychotherapist andI am 42 and have always had a difficult relationship with my sister, who is six years older than me. Over the years, I have helped her with house moves, break-ups, money problems and even, on occasions, taken in her children when they were too much for her.She never seems to appreciate or even like me for doing this.
You’ve helped your sister and seem to get attacked for it. You appear bewildered by her treatment of you and feel innocent and hurt. But she can’t stand you. Sorry if it hurts, but it looks as though this seems to be the case. Quite often, parents unthinkingly make unfavourable comparisons between their children and this, too, can plant seeds of hostility. When a younger child is born, an older sibling can feel as though they have been replaced in their parents’ affections, and if parents do not take this seriously and don’t bestow extra love and attention to the older child at this tricky time, again seeds of resentment are sown.
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