Despite one in four pregnancies ending in miscarriage, stigma remains about the loss of a pregnancy.
The first time I miscarried, I remember standing in a Target aisle trying to figure out what size adult diaper I needed, because the bleeding felt relentless. Picking out a diaper at 31, under a cloak of embarrassment for my body not being able to do what it was biologically created to do, felt like salt in the wound.
"It's not just the physical loss of the baby, but I think a lot of times it's the dream and the hope that came along with seeing that positive pregnancy test," Correa tells TODAY.com."So the grief can become absolutely overwhelming.""My mom marked it on her calendar. Every year I’m surprised when she texts me to tell me how loved and not forgotten that baby still is.
“My friends talked about it with me in a way that was factual and didn’t feel like pity. I know that sounds weird but it was so much easier to talk about facts and medicine than my emotions." "Oftentimes that that looks like any phrase that starts with 'At least'," she says."Like 'At least you were able to get pregnant' or 'At least you already have a child.' Anytime we say 'at least,' what we're doing is invalidating the person's experience.""Having friends family that ask if we are in the headspace to talk about or see pictures of babies has been a small thing that feels so much bigger.
"After my first loss, my mom immediately booked a flight to come and stay with us, help out provide comfort. My mom hasn’t traveled by herself since I’ve been alive and so for her to drop everything and fly up to me meant more than I can even express."
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