Every parent has experienced this particular flavor of desperation.
While De La Torre agrees that boundaries and consistent routines are important for young children, she also counsels parents to be a little flexible. “If you’re having a lot of meltdowns, it’s OK to say, ‘Right now he just needs you, we’ll try it again later.’ The good news is, if you get it wrong, there are many more months to get it right.”As the parent of two young kids, I think I can safely say that by the time you’re Googling “get my toddler to sleep,” all is not going well.
It could be separation anxiety, in which case playing games like hide-and-seek can help reassure them that even when you can’t see someone, they’re still there. You might even try having siblings share a bedroom . If you get it wrong, the consequences seem huge. One night of lost sleep makes you barely functional the next day; weeks, or months, of sleeplessness can bring a frazzled parent close to the brink of the abyss. As my friend once put it, parenting is a little like trying to operate in a foxhole, dodging bullets whizzing around your head while digging in the dirt .
That leaves De La Torre’s one final piece of advice, which is to not compare yourself or your kids with anyone else and to not judge yourself too harshly. “Choose the option that comes from love and not from fear,” De La Torre says. If your tank is all out of gas, and they really need to go to sleep because you won’t be able to be there for them in the morning, it’s OK to tell your kid that they have to stay by themselves.
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