37 weird things patients have heard doctors say that made them immediately question their qualification.
You're on the list! Expect to receive your first email very soon!Many years ago on some internet forum , I read a humorous collection of"words you wouldn't want to hear from a doctor on the operating table." There were things like,"Accept my sacrifice, oh Dark Lord!" or"Okay kitty, stop meowing, here's a piece of meat for you!"
She did this with the same voice and look on her face that one would give to someone who just performed a symphonic masterpiece. I felt so accomplished.Husband's first prostate exam, doctor warned him,"This will be somewhat undignified." When he got home, I was undignified:"Haha! You lost your b#tthole virginity!" He grumbled"Oh shut up."
During the same weird cancer episode, a neurologist said my brain was"unremarkable". I mean, he's right in so many ways, but I was delighted to hear it.In the ER about 2am, he didn't speak English very well. Starts telling me about my CAT scan and the results of it. Me being half asleep, I stop him and him if they took me out of the bed and put me in a machine. He says yes. I said I'm 99% sure that wasn't me. He says"are you ?" I said no.
“It’s just a shame to see pretty girls with all those tattoos!” when I went in to urgent care for a potentially infected cut that happened to be on one of my arms, which are sleeved. Sir, do I need antibiotic ointment or not? My tattoos have nothing to do with this interaction.It's a shame to see a doctor expressing an opinion on anything other than a medical diagnosis.
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