'Representing myself in my works made me feel proud of my body,' says artist Sasha Gordon.
For years I was in denial about being in this body and didn’t feel comfortable in it. I don’t often see representations of larger Asian women, and when I was younger, I believed I was the only fat Asian in America or the world. When I discovereddrawings, I felt seen. The way these women exerted power without shame or apology made me feel beautiful. I had shied away from making myself the center of attention in paintings because it was so hard to find a space for myself in real life.
Seeing any Asian person in the media brought me joy when I was younger. I googled Margaret Cho after seeing her on TV and found this photo showing all her tattoos—that was the first time I’d seen an Asian woman take claim of her body in a way that wasn’t for others. Getting tattoos was when I first started to take ownership of my body. I now have 17, including one based on a work by Wei Dong. It helped me accept my body, allowing me to curate what’s on it.
The works are always for me first, although I share them with others—but having an image of your body on display is scary. Sometimes I’ll dissociate and not think about it, but then you’ll go into class one day and realize you painted yourself naked, and you’re in front of your class of mostly white peers and a white old male teacher, and they’re critiquing this painting that has you so vulnerable. And the same goes with sharing my paintings with my family.
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