How to tell if you're in a toxic relationship.
I've been in an on-again, off-again relationship for years. Our fights are super explosive and intense — we tend to go below the belt and say things we regret. I spend way too much time in tears. I know this isn't healthy, but how do I know if the relationship has become 'toxic' and beyond the point of repair?If you have to ask, well, you are probably there.
Relationship researcher John Gottman, who is best known for his ability to predict divorce with 94 percent accuracy, has identified four common predictors of divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. While it's possible to work through these issues and learn to fight fair, there are some behaviors that I'd consider truly toxic deal breakers in a relationship.
Wherever there is addiction or compulsivity, emotional intimacy cannot exist. This kind of behavior puts a wall between you and your partner. Enabling addiction and other dangerous, compulsive behaviors helps one person to self-destruct and causes the other to harbor toxic resentment.
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