DearPrudie: I can’t believe my mother is on her side!
Around the time I got engaged, my aunt started making some very destructive decisions. My mom and her other siblings reached out in various ways to help her and she was mostly very nasty to them, often resorting to personal attacks when they’d try to get her to face her actions and help her through the consequences. When it came time to send out wedding and bridal shower invites I decided, based on her past and current actions and her uncontrolled drinking, not to invite my aunt.
I don’t really have any relationship with this aunt; but for the sake of the relationship with my mother, do I need to fake an apology?If your aunt would like an apology from you, she needs to ask you, not your mom. I doubt she will. And honestly, the fact that she can’t see how destructive she was back then—and that she’s still, in a sense, lashing out at people-—suggests to me that she’s not really in a better place at all.
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