Singer Beth McDonald, who performs as Beth Blade, speaks about her rape ordeal and why she has written music about it - as she prepares for her ex-partner's release from jail. Warning - this article contains graphic descriptions of physical abuse which some may find disturbing.
Beth McDonald, also known as Beth Blade, is the lead singer of Beth Blade And The Beautiful Disasters. Pic: Megan JenkinsBeth McDonald remembers watching a clock on the wall, counting down the hours until she felt she would be able to escape her rapist.
But she is proud of her album and says she wants to speak out to potentially help others who might be facing similar situations, trapped in abusive relationships."If it can help one person, then it's worth feeling scared every time you talk," she says."And as time goes on, it gets less and less. The abuse started with him trying to dictate her working hours and the way she looked, telling her not to dye her hair when she wanted to, she says. Soon, she became cut off from some of her friends.
Grieve became violent again, she says, after the band won a competition to support Kiss on their annual Kiss Kruise gig, a cruise from Miami to the Bahamas. As he could not go, he did not want her to either. She says he threw a glass at her in a pub, in front of others, but it missed; another man, whom she knew, hit Grieve in retaliation.
The attack went on throughout the night, with Grieve headbutting her,"stomping" on her and at one point biting her scalp, she says. Once he had finished the rum, she says he took her upstairs and made her take her clothes off, before hitting her with a belt. The women helped Beth, covering her and calling the police and a taxi to get her to hospital. She says she suffered a depressed skull fracture, as well as wounds and bruising from the belt and being hit."My eyes were completely black and the inside of my mouth, where he'd put his fingers inside, was ripped."The band played on the Kiss Kruise following the attack. Pic: Will Byington
"I needed some kind of outlet to be able to channel all that pain through. At the time, I felt like there wasn't really anybody I could talk to. My parents, I didn't want to give them the horrible details. Friends were wonderfully supportive of me and my bandmates were incredible, but I just didn't want them to have to deal with the graphicness of it.
"It was a moment for me that if these songs can help people, then yes, I should absolutely do it... I'm not going to allow what he did to me to define me. In fact, I'm going to be as bold about it and as brave about it as I can possibly be. It's important that people know that it can happen to anybody.
With Grieve's release imminent, on licence until August 2026, Beth says she is going to have to change the way she gigs, but is determined to keep going."When I get to a venue, I'm going to have to give them a picture of him and say, if you see this person, you can't let them in. He could find me at any point, regardless of whether there's a restraining order in place or an exclusion zone. It's not protection.
"Women die every week at the hands of their partner or their ex-partner. [A restraining order] doesn't stop somebody from coming and finding you, it really doesn't. It's a shame that many people have to change their names and move to stop that from happening.
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