Harriette Cole: It was a big deal that I posted these photos. My boyfriend said nothing.

Everyone else said I looked pretty — but not him.

You mentioned that you have not felt confident about the way you look. Good for you that you took the step to take a professional photo and post it! It is a sign of building confidence. The challenge, however, with posting and looking for acknowledgement is that when that affirmation doesn’t come, it dashes your confidence. That’s exactly what happened.

Second, ask yourself how much it matters that your boyfriend didn’t say anything. If it matters a lot, ask him directly what he thinks of your photo. Then ask why he didn’t comment online. Be prepared to respond to whatever he says. Do your best not to take his reaction personally.I am my father’s only daughter, and I think that because of this, he has often had a hard time connecting with me. Even as an adult, I don’t always feel heard or understood by him.

Consider writing your father a letter to share your feelings, hopes and desires for your relationship. Rather than highlighting what you don’t want, focus on what you desire. As his only daughter, express how special you believe your relationship is and can be. Invite your father to communicate in loving, thoughtful ways.

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