'This growing bump that everyone thought I wanted to see was now a visual manifestation of my failure.'
"This growing bump that everyone thought I wanted to see was now a visual manifestation of my failure. I smiled, wanting to show I—we—were so happy and grateful. But part of me felt more worthless," Union said, adding that tears streamed down her face."They thought these were tears of gratitude. The awe of witnessing the start of life. I was reliving death. Of course I was grateful, it would be impossible not to be. But what I was grateful for was that this life might be spared.
""I had hoped that the second I saw her, there would be a moment of locking in," Union explained."I looked over at Natalie and her husband. There was a stillness to them. I looked at Kaavia James on the table, and then back at them. It took all of us to create her, so I wanted to share this time with them.""I will always wonder if Kaav would love me more if I had carried her. Would our bond be even tighter?" she said.
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