In her new book, Calm the F*ck Down, she guides readers through figuring out what they can control versus what they can’t, and how to accept it
First, Sarah Knight showed us “how to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do” with her self-help book, she guides readers through figuring out what they can control versus what they can’t, and how to accept it.
The Globe and Mail spoke to Knight, who lives in the Dominican Republic, about the key to dealing with anxiety, why it is so hard to not care about so many things and if you can find joy without being a selfish jerk.I have been an anxious person since my littlest days. I didn’t necessarily know that until I was probably in my late 20s, early 30s when I had a real live panic attack and I got some actual medical help for it and somebody explained to me what anxiety is.
A big part of your work seems to be about helping people find joy in one way or another. Why do you think joy is the thing we’re all chasing these days? I actually tend toward talking about my stuff in the sense of “avoiding the annoy.” And that’s only because my very first book started out as a parody of Marie Kondo’sin which she exhorts people to spark joy in their life. I always kind of came at it from a different place, the opposite place, of like, get rid of the stuff that annoys you. These days, we’ve all had enough. We get it enough from the news, we get it from the world at large. But we get it from our in-laws.
It’s a combination of things. Certainly guilt, obligation, these tenets that have been beaten into us since we were little kids about pleasing others and not being selfish.You know, maybe we feel like we can’t let go. We feel like we can’t say no. We feel like we have to keep all these balls in the air and absorb everybody else’s worries and fears and anxieties, but actually it’s not good for us, and being a little bit selfish is good for us.
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