Fiscally I'm A Right-Wing Nutjob, But On Social Issues I'm Fucking Insanely Liberal

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Fiscally I'm A Right-Wing Nutjob, But On Social Issues I'm Fucking Insanely Liberal
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'It's all about striking a balance, really.'

The world is a complicated place, and in this day and age, you just can't expect a person to fall on the same political side of every issue he is confronted with. Things are more nuanced than that, and the average American might think one way about one topic, and a completely different way about another. For instance, when it comes to fiscal issues, I consider myself to be a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, right-wing lunatic.

However, if those same children get sick, then I believe it is their sole responsibility to pay for their own health care. Children should not be coddled with the support of their parents' hard-earned money, and it's up to them to finance multimillion-dollar procedures with their own pluck and determination.

And how do I know I'll be the first to arrive at that picket line? Well, I'll have a special pass providing me with access to an elite, privatized system of roads. Yes, I believe roads should be privatized—as should fire departments, law enforcement, and basic water and sewer infrastructure.

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