This article explores the rising trend of family estrangement, particularly among younger generations, and delves into the complexities of navigating these fractured relationships. Drawing on sociological insights and expert advice, it examines the root causes of estrangement and proposes two distinct paths for healing and reconciliation.
There's little difference in the frequency of estrangement by political beliefs or party affiliation, but it is much more common among adults under 35.
Coleman and Johnson believe family relationships may be more fraught today because they exist in what sociologist Zygmunt Bauman called “liquid culture,” a period characterized by rapidly changing norms and values — the traditional bonds and values that once unified people have eroded, leaving relationships more fragile and increasingly vulnerable to political and cultural polarization. The authors suggest two paths for navigating estrangement. The first includes reckoning with the issues that led to estrangement. In this scenario, an estranged child and parent may go to therapy together to better understand their dynamic. “I say that the purpose of this therapy is to … demonstrate to your adult child if you’re capable of taking responsibility and then understanding why they felt was the healthiest thing for them to do,” Coleman explains. “You might need to … deepen your understanding of how your behavior impacted your child, even if it’s at odds with your own recollections of what happened in the past.” Usually, Coleman encourages the estranged parent to write a “letter of amends” where they show that they recognize the effects of their words and actions. The second path requires the wounded party to accept “the inherent flaws” of the person they’ve been estranged from.The former person may ultimately conclude that despite the problems, they still see the relationship as important enough for them to continue. There is no grand reckoning — more of a softening, an understanding that the person you were estranged from may never fix their flaws or change their mind but you want to be in their life regardless. They just want family and they don’t want to continue to be estranged,” Coleman says.
FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS SOCIAL TRENDS COMMUNICATION RECONCILIATION
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